You Don’t Have Enough Badges to Train Me: The Friend Dilemma

So I had almost the silliest argument the other day. Let me try to explain:

I was in my girlfriend’s room with a few people (including my girlfriend, of course), and she was on the phone with her mother. When her mother heard my voice and the voices of the other people in the room, she asked who was there, and my girlfriend replied, “Oh, just some friends.”

I harrumphed manfully, “And me,” I reminded her, because there’s always the off-chance that my girlfriend is a lizard-person, and if I don’t move, she might not be able to see me. Now, I know what you’re saying – that’s not accurate, lizards can see stationary things.

Photo by photobucket.

To which I extend a hearty, “Pfft.”

She gave me a look as if my own alien lizard skin was showing, before replying “I included you in ‘friends.’”

Um, what?

Over the course of the ensuing discussion, I found something – according to my girlfriend, I have two different titles – I am at one time “boyfriend,” but at the same time, I am “friend,” and can therefore be referred to by either title. I countered by saying that boyfriend is my title, and while I may technically be a friend, I should be referred to by my proper title.

Pictured: My status above other male friends that she may have.

Pictured: My status above other male “friends” that she may have

Of course, my girlfriend’s roommate agreed with her. Apparently, she does the same thing. However, to further divide it along gender lines, the roommate’s boyfriend agreed with me.

We just call him Mr. Man. Photo by photobucket.

See, here’s how I view the system – my girlfriend was, before we started dating, classified merely as “friend.” So, at that point, I would be comfortable, in a group that included her, to refer to the entire group collectively as “friends.”

However, once we got together, she underwent an upgrade, much like adding wings to your monkey to create an innovative and functional army.

The Wicked Witch: Spellcaster, fashion guru, genetic scientist

And so, she became a new entity: a girlfriend.

She, obviously, doesn’t see it that way. She feels that, basically, boyfriends/girlfriends do not necessarily have to be a friend, and so, if you refer to the other as not “a friend,” it denies a close connection.

..or something. I admit, I found it very hard to understand.

Hang on, here she is:

“So, the way I see it is that there are plenty people who are boyfriend/girlfriend, who aren’t actually friends. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t refer to each other as boyfriend/girlfriend, but when he says we aren’t friends, it makes me feel like I’m just a pair of boobs, and he doesn’t actually care about my personality. Also, when he says that, it makes me feel like if we took away that girlfriend/boyfriend relationship, we wouldn’t stay friends, and that really upsets me. I feel like it is almost more special to say that he’s my best friend, and my boyfriend, instead of just calling him my boyfriend. And I’d like to know he feels the same way about me.”

I understand your point. And I would add that I do care about her as a friend as well, she is not just a lowly friend. She is my girlfriend, to me an even higher post than that of best friend. Therefore, it is with the highest respect and love that I do this:

Pshhht. Photo by photobucket.


Girlfriend: “Poopoo face.”

Me (The awesome one): “Smelly…nose.”

G: “Buck teeth.”

M:  “Big foot.”

G: “Butt muncher.”

M: “Fart licker.”

G: “Necro-bestiality lover.”

M: “Tax attorney.”

G: “Brony.”

M: “Rainbow Crash.”

G: “Whatever Bugs Bunny.”

Neah, what’s up, dork? Photo by photobucket.

M: …That hurt my feelings.

Pictured: Me, before falling asleep tonight. Photo by photobucket.

Pictured: Me, before falling asleep tonight

Well, lovelies, let me know what you think. Post a comment below, like it, favorite it, share it.

(Please love me)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s