Mutants, monsters and mustaches: This summer at the movies

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Summer, we are ready for you. Photo from IMDB.

Summer is FINALLY here and that means so are the biggest months at the box office.

If you don’t know what I mean, I’m talking about guns, heroes, explosions and crazy fun movies to put in your eyeballs before all the super artsy Oscar-y films come out in the fall. And we’re in no short of that this summer. Below, check out the five films you absolutely must see before school starts up again.

May 16th– GODZILLA

What is it? – A reboot/remake/sequel to the king of all monsters is brought into our modern world to wreak havoc and scare the living daylights out of us.

Why are we excited? – Well, if you’ve seen the trailer you’ll know what all the fuss is about. If not, let me tell you. Above all else, it’s director Gareth Edward’s new movie. That alone is enough to get people in seats. If you haven’t seen his first film “Monsters,” you should head to Netflix right now and check it out. Beyond that, it also boasts an impressive cast of Bryan Cranston (of “Malcom in the Middle” fame, duh), Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Elizabeth Olsen (both soon-to-be Avengers in next summer’s sequel). Combined with what looks to be some great visual effects, this one’s sure to be the movie the monster finally deserves.

May 24th – X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST

What is it? – The ultimate X-Men adventure, that’s what it is. The X-Men of today are on the brink of extinction and must travel back to help the x-men of the past fix it before it can even happen.

Why are we excited? – Because the X-Men are the bomb, that’s why. Thankfully, this film will combine both X-Casts from both movie timelines (because time travel) and we’ll get to see Fassbender, McKellen, McCavoy and Stewart all on screen together for the first time. It’s also one of the most killer comic story lines the X-Men have ever had, and they’ve had a lot. Oh, by the way, Peter Dinklage (“Game of Thrones”) plays the bad guy. Case and point.

May 30th – A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST

What is it?- When a cowardly farmer falls for the new girl in town, he must quickly shape up to defeat her gun-slinging husband and win her over.

Why are we excited? – Because, say what you will about “Family Guy,” Seth Macfarlane is a seriously funny dude. If this is half as good as his first feature film (“Ted”) we’re all in for a real treat. Seeing a comedy take place in the wild west is a bit of a rarity, and he’s bringing his friends along. Charlize Theron (“Prometheus”), Liam Neeson (“Star War Episode I: The Phantom Menace”) and Neil Patrick Harris (“Doogie Howser”) lead a very impressive cast. In a film sure to be filled with death and hilarity, it’ll more than likely stand out as the summer’s hit comedy.

July 11th – DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES

What is it? – Some time after the events of its Franco-filled predecessor, humans are all but extinct and trigger a war against Caesar and his apes.

Why are we excited? – Because the first one was boring as hell and this one looks crazy awesome. Thanks to new director Matt Reeves (“Cloverfield,” “Let Me In”), the series looks to be taking a much needed darker and more serious turn. Reeves has clearly been looking for a series to sink his teeth into and make his own and I think he’s finally found it. It doesn’t hurt that the film stars Gary Oldman (“Air Force One”) and has Andy Serkis (“King Kong”) returning to play Caesar, the lead ape. This is the way a modern apes movie should be: with humans on the run.

August 1st – GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY

What is it? – Ahem, what isn’t it? It’s a group of rag-tag alien heroes (a raccoon and a talking tree, among others) that come together to fight off the bad guys. Basically, it’s Marvel’s Space Avengers.

Why are we excited? – Basically because it’s going to be the best movie ever made. You can read a more in depth preview of it here, but here’s the shortened version: Marvel has proven it can’t go wrong and now it’s set out to tackle space. With James Gunn at the helm directing a killer cast led by Chris Pratt (“Parks and Recreation”), and crazy awesome source material, it has every perfect ingredient that will give us a new space opera for the coming years and a new band of heroes to believe in.

Honorable Mentions:

Amazing Spider-Man 2 (May 2) – Yo, I’mma see you, but “Spider-man 2” was the best spidey movie of all time. And you look like you have too many villains.

Transformers: Age of Extinction (June 27) – I’ll admit, compared to the first three, this one looks awesome. I’ll see anything with Marky Mark.

Edge of Tomrrow (June 6) – It’s got potential. A lot of potential. We’ll see how it plays out.

Sin City: A Dame to Kill for (August 22)- If it’s anything like the first one, it’s going to kill. With yet another crazy awesome cast, and those classic Frank Miller tales of crime, it can’t lose.

What summer blockbusters are you most excited about? Let us know in the comments or tweet us @SpeakeasyMag!

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