Don’t be broken up over your break up

Being broken up with is a part of life. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but if it hasn’t happened to you yet, it still might happen at some point. Breakups suck, there’s really no other way to say it. They hurt and make you question yourself. It will get easier though, not right away, but it always does.

 TO DO

1. Remember, it wasn’t all good.
Even if we weren’t 100% happy in a relationship, being broken up with makes us remember it as though we were blissfully happy.
Sure, it was super sweet that he promised he would walk you home every night!
But was it super sweet when he stopped even offering a week later? No.

2. You’re over your other relationships, and you’ll get over this one too.
You’re not still crying over the boy kicked you in the knees in the 3rd grade, the boy who didn’t ask you to the middle school dance, or the boy who broke your heart your junior year of high school. So it might not be right away, but your heart will return to it’s solid and happy state.

3. Go to the gym.
Sure, everyone will say “I feel great after a workout” and while this is true and endorphins are great, there are other reasons to go.
You should go to the gym because you’ve been putting it off and kept telling yourself “I’ll get around to it.”
Go to the gym because taking a kickboxing class is going to feel much better than stuffing your face with potato chips and ice cream.
Go to the gym because there are a ton of people there who are interested in being the best version of themselves, and those are the type of people that you should surround yourself with.

3. Spend time with your family.
Although sometimes you wish they would, these are the people that can never break up with you. They have copious amounts of love for you, and your best interests at heart. They may drive you crazy at times, but it can be a nice distraction to laugh with them about that time you called your brother an asshole for the first time and hid in your room the whole day because you thought he was going to tell on you.

4. Get down to business with your classes.
It’s often easy to get distracted from school work when you’re busy in a relationship. But with finals coming up, focusing on what you need to do and getting a jump start on studying for your exams will be a good distraction! Plus, when you get your stellar grades back, you’ll feel accomplished and fulfilled.

5. Treat yourself!
Whether it’s that scarf you’ve had your eye on, or an extra slice of pizza at dinner, doing a little extra for yourself is a great reminder that you’re worth it.

6. Remember that you have awesome friends.
While they aren’t you biological family, they are in a way your family. There the ones who are there to help you home when you’ve had a little to much to drink, the ones who will always encourage you to eat that candy bar you really want, and the ones who will help put your heart back together after it’s been broken. They’ll be at your side with an abundance of kind words and insomnia cookies.

7. Cry.
This seems counterproductive, yes. But the truth is, you’re hurt and you’re sad, crying is a natural reaction. There’s nothing wrong with putting on a little T-Swift and crying, as long as it’s in moderation with other things. Skipping all of your classes to do this probably isn’t the best idea, but letting our your emotions will always make you feel better.

THINGS NOT TO DO

1. DO NOT subtweet mean things about them.
Sure, you might find it gratifying at the time, but is that really what you want to see on your Timehop next year? No. Instead, text your best friend the tweet you were thinking and get it all out. It’s a much better way of getting your thoughts out.

2. DO NOT text them.
“Oh but he wants to be friends?” Down the road in the future, I see no problem with being friends with someone who has broken up with you. It’s much easier to cut ties than hold on to frayed ones, if you ask me. But if you want to be friends, remember that while you’re hurting, talking to them is only going to bring back feelings you don’t need at the moment.

3. DO NOT have a one night stand.
“The best way to get over someone is to get under someone new.” This is not sound advice in any way, shape or form. When hurting from a break up, hooking up with someone right away is never a good choice. At the time it may make  you feel better, but the next day it’s just going to add onto what you’re already feeling. Nor should you hook up with that guy that you like only as a friend, if he has feelings for you and this happens, it’s only going to hurt him too.

4. DO NOT digitally stalk him.
You should pretty much just stay away from social media in regards to him. Looking at what he’s doing, and who he’s doing it with definitely isn’t going to be good for your mental health. Also, avoid creeping on the girls that favorite his tweet/like his status (even if you are way cuter) it isn’t going to help.

If we could avoid the heartbreak and pain we would, but it’s important to remember that each of those heartbreaks is going to take you closer to the person who won’t even be able to imagine breaking your heart. So cry until your eyes are puffy, eat until you can’t fit anything else in you, run until you no longer want to look back, and spend time with the people that love you. You will be okay.

It might not feel like it right now, but it will get better. It always does.

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