Find your own happiness

“Unless it’s mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it’s a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life; love shouldn’t be one of them.”

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single, it doesn’t mean you’re flawed, that you missed your opportunity for love because you just didn’t feel that way for that super nice guy, or because you drunkenly made out with that cute guy at a party and you think that ruined all of your chances. No, being single simply means that it isn’t your time to be in a relationship, despite feeling like everyone and their mother is either in a long-standing relationship or starting something new.

Carrie Bradshaw said it best when she said, “being single used to mean nobody wanted you. Now it means you’re pretty sexy and you’re taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with.”

Sure, there are plenty of eligible bachelors and bachelorettes on campus, but that doesn’t mean it’s always worth the effort. Dating is hard in college, there’s no other way to say it. We’re all busy trying to balance work for classes, extra-curricular activities for resumes, and a social life all while attempting to figure out how we want to spend the rest of our lives. So trying to worry about another person’s needs doesn’t always fit into our schedules, especially if that someone isn’t equally committed.

Since coming to school, I’ve been in a few “serious” relationships, and a few not-so serious ones. While I sincerely enjoyed spending time with each of them, looking back at them, I have to ask myself if they were worth it. As I was off making memories with someone who viewed me as temporary, I missed out on the opportunity to make memories with the friends who I know will be in my life forever.

While relationships often bring us happiness, comfort and a sense of security; they can also bring stress, drama and heartbreak. While being single often leaves us yearning to be cuddled, whist in that relationship it could end up feeling as though you’re being smothered and wishing for the days when you were single.

I’ve been able to accomplish great things while being single that I doubt I wouldn’t have been able to do in a relationship. I’ve gotten so many Pinterest crafts done, watched the movies that I’ve wanted to, and most importantly, I’ve been able to spend time with the amazing friends I’ve made here. While these things probably don’t sound too exciting, they’re things that bring me happiness.

I’m not saying all relationships are bad, because they definitely are not. I’ve been fortunate enough to watch my grandparents celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary and my parents celebrate their 25th. Love is a wonderful thing and it’s something I truly believe we all deserve and want, but I also believe timing is extremely important. Loving who you are on your own is a key in being able to love someone else, along with loving who you are with that person.

So Bobcats, whether you’re in a relationship or not, make sure you’re happy doing whatever it is that you’re doing. If you’re in a relationship– I wish you all the best; and for those of you who are single, enjoy it while you can because you never know when that special someone is going to come and sweep you off your feet.

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3 thoughts on “Find your own happiness

  1. Yes, you are not “flawed” just because you are single. Unfortunately many people tend to think so, but I hope we are moving away from that now. Believe in yourself as a single! 🙂

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